One week from today is Christmas

One week from today is Christmas.  Yes, the big day.  The day in which we try to remember why we celebrate the day.  Yes, one week from today, I will probably be up (it is actually very early in the morning as I write) putting out Santa gifts.  And in just a few short hours, Christmas will be over in all of about two seconds.  Literally.  Two seconds.  Why?  Because for the first time in my married life, Christmas has been funded by cash and not the likes of VISA, Mastercard, American Express, or Discover.  And it is being done a la cheap.  Well, sort of.  Cheaper than is has been done in probably a decade or more.

I'm looking forward to the excitement on kids faces as it quickly turns to disappointment.  NOT!  I think my younger kids will be fine.  It is my older kids that I'm afraid may be disappointed.  They have been warned that Christmas is going to suck be scaled back substantially this year and to not expect much.  I tried to talk my wife into giving each kid like $50, but she didn't go for it.  She likes buying the gifts for the kid.  She considers cash a cop out.  I beg to differ, but the "do I gift or give cash" debate isn't one I wanted to get into this year.  So lame gifts it will be.

So what do I want for Christmas?  Stuff I can't possibly afford.  A Canon 5D Mark II camera ($2,700 for the body only) for starters.  Or a 2010 Mustang GT ($30k) with a 3.73 rear end and a manual transmission.  That car hauls some serious .... serious .....  OK, it accelerates quickly and is FUN to drive hard.  A lot more fun than my boring and reliable Camry.  The 30MPG the Camry gets is a lot better than the 15MPG I would get if I had a Mustang GT.  Or the Camry is just a bit over 1/2 the cost of the Mustang.  I just need to keep telling myself that.  Maybe some day I'll actually believe it.  I don't like hearing it, but I can always hope and dream.  (Note to self...   I can't believe I'm actually complaining about owning a Toyota Camry.  It really is a nice car.  But the mid-life crisis part of me REALLY wants something fun to drive.  And the Camry just doesn't have the acceleration oomph that I crave...)  Or I'd like a new widescreen monitor (24") for the home PC.  The 17" is nice, but it is just kind of small, especially when I work on a 28" screen every day at work.

So Christmas is going to suck be the best I've ever had.  The best part?  I won't be paying on this year's Christmas next year.  Yea!

Can you see what I see?

One of the coolest military weapons are the Predator drones that the US flies over countries such as Iraq and Afghanistan.  The drone is a small aircraft that is used by the US military to fly reconnaissance over an area.  You can get real data on where you're flying.  They are cheap.  The pilot is far away and safe.  So if one gets shot down, no big deal.  No pilot to go and rescue.  You would think that the video feed between the drone and the person flying the drone would be encrypted, safe, and secure.  Well, guess what?  It isn't.  Yup.  It is in the clear.  Kind of like using a telnet or ftp connection across a network.  Not very secure.  Here's the link to the full story:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8419147.stm

Funny thing is that I never heard this story in the US.  The US media either ignored it or covered it up.  Nothing like showing Osama the video of where we're flying so he can stay well away from those areas.  Reminds me of WWII when the British had German Enigma machines and the Brits knew exactly what Germany was going to do.

Bank of America - Their attempt to change terms without an opt-out

About a month or possibly more ago (I'm getting older, so I don't remember details) my wife and I got a lovely letter from Bank of America informing us that the interest rate on our debt consolidation loan was going to float with the prime rate.  It had been fixed at a particular interest rate.  The really neat thing about this letter is that there was not opt-out option.  So we were forced to accept the terms.  We called.  We complained.  But the answer was that's the way it is.

Today we get a new letter from Bank of America.  It says the following:

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Dear (insert our name here):

We recently notified you in October (I guess that's when we got our fun letter) of a change to your Account Agreement describing how the annual percentage rate on your account would be calculated using a variable rate formula tied to the U.S. prime rate.  After careful consideration (and a lot of ticked off customers), we have decided not to implement this change.  As a result, your account will retain its current annual percentage rate and remain unchanged.
==========

We started this loan several years ago with MBNA.  MBNA was acquired by Bank of America.  Many years ago MBNA tried to change our interest rate from a fixed to a variable, but there was an opt-out clause.  We decided to opt-out.  And things were good.  So when we get this change in terms even after we had opted out, it really left a sour taste in our mouths.  It did not seem like they could legally change our rate like they did since we had previously opted out of going variable.  I thought about complaining to the Consumer Protection Agency and others, but it just fell by the wayside.  I don't know who complained or what was said.  But to whomever helped change Bank of America's heart, thank you.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I know the banks have suffered incredible losses in the last couple of years.  However, the banks have helped create the mess they are currently in by giving out easy money.  We have never been late on our payment.  And it is frustrating as a customer for the banks to ignore a customer's past history and literally mess with you like we're an unlimited resource ready to be tapped out by fees and interest rate hikes.  Mr Banker, I'm not the problem.  I pay my bills on time.  Go hose those that aren't paying their bills on time.  Soak them with the punitive rates and fees, not me.

One last word...  I have a long, long, long memory.  If you look at the cars I drive, you will notice that my cars are imports, except for my larger vehicles.  Why?  Because when I was a kid, I can remember all the crummy cars that came out of Detroit.  There isn't a single American car that my parents had that I liked or even worked properly.  Not a one.  And so for the last 20 years I've avoided American cars like the plague.

Mr. Banker, I have a long memory.  If you want me to continue to do business with you, you had better treat me right.  If not, I will take my business elsewhere.  There is one bank (Chase) that I will never do business with ever again.  Bank of America, do you wish to join that club as well?

Chase what matters - Chase them away

I saw the following news article about credit cards on CNN.com today:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/10/09/credit.card.outrage/index.html

In the article, there is a couple that talks about Chase messing around with the people's payments.  My wife and I once had a Chase credit card.  One of the worst cards I've ever had in my life.  They messed with my interest rate.  They changed my due date.  Finally I was sick of them and moved the balance to another credit card.  Because of that experience, I've vowed to never own another Chase credit card ever.  That was about five years ago.  And we haven't been back since.  Their loss and my gain.

My word to the wise - choose your credit card company carefully.  And if someone starts messing with you, just switch to a different bank.  Hopefully, you can switch to a different bank.

The story of uncle Lazy Larsen

This is a story that my parents and my grandparents told to me when I was growing up as a kid. It is a story that I have repeated to my own kids. Here is how it goes.

Have you heard of the story of old Lazy Larsen? Oh, you haven't? Well, let me tell you about him.

Once upon a time there was an uncle that was so lazy, the people called him Lazy Larsen. He was so lazy that he wouldn't do anything for himself. He would not work. He would not feed himself. He expected others to do his work for him. The people were so exasperated with him, because he wouldn't do anything, they decided to bury him alive. So they put old Lazy Larsen into a coffin and they were taking him down main street to the cemetary to bury him. A person was going through town and stopped the funeral procession.

"Who died?"

"Oh, no one died. Old Lazy Larsen refuses to do anything. He won't work to provide for himself. He won't do anything. So we're going to bury him alive in the cemetary."

"Oh no, don't do that. If he needs food, I have a whole field of corn that he can have and he can live on for free."

Lazy Larsen rises up out of the coffin and asks, "Is the corn shelled and schucked?"

The passer by says, "No, it isn't. But that can be done easily enough."

Lazy Larsen says, "Drive on driver, drive on."

Lazy Larsen was so lazy that he was even unwilling to accept free food that required just a little bit of work to prepare.

Having the last word in an argument with my wife

In my High Priest Group, there is a guy that says he always gets the last word in any argument with his wife. What are his last words in any argument? "Yes dear."

I should learn my lesson.

Midlife crisis car

A guy that I used to work with is selling his Camaro. Its a 1995 Camaro convertible with 50,000 original miles on it. It has the Corvette LT1 engine in it. I've driven it before and its quite fast. Here's a picture of it from his online add listing:


Its a pretty sweet ride. He wants $7,500 for it, which is about $7,480 more than I can afford. (sigh) The wife said I could sell my new Camry and pick up the Camaro. Uhhh... No. Not that I'm in love with my Camry, but it gets 30 MPG, and this Camaro will probably get between 15 and 20 MPG. And if gas ever goes ballistic again, I'd be toast. So I'll live to covet a different day. I'm sure he'll sell the car sooner or later. And if my finances improve and its still available, this beauty may follow me home. But knowing him and knowing my finances, the chances of that happening are about the same as me winning the lottery (I don't play the lotto). But it sure would be a lot cheaper than a 2010 Ford Mustang GT........ Less than 1/4 the cost. Almost 1/5 the cost. But when you get paid and pay your bills and then you look at your checkbook balance and its almost down to where it was before you paid your bills, you know you can't add additional overhead to the budget. As much as I would love to think I could afford this beast, I really can't. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Period. Done. (sigh)

A time to move

I think it might be time to move. Maybe move to the mission field. Gotta think this one through.

Can I have some bread with that jelly, please?

WARNING: My blogs are written for people of all ages. However, this entry may be offensive to those that are under age 18 or 21. Perhaps even older readers. So if you're easily offended or if you're a minor, go read a different posting. Or go to lesser offensive site.

Whew! Yesterday I went in for an annual physical. I have some meds that need to be refilled and I thought that with my past history of random things breaking down, it was time to start the annual physical routine. The doctor I ended up visiting is higly recommended by one of our neighbors. My lame doctor that I've been seeing for nearly a decade has moved his practice further away than I want to drive. And he's gone "bad" in many different ways and at many different levels. He is a good person, just I have not been impressed with his medical skills as of late. So adios, amigo.

So I go in to see a new doctor. Wait probably an hour. He comes in and we talk about football from one of the local universities for probably 10 minutes. He writes up my prescription refill and then starts the exam. Everything good so far.

Finally he says, "OK, time to drop your drawers. Bend over the table, put your left arm on the exam table, use your right hand to pull on your right cheek. No, not the cheek on your face, the cheek on your rear end." (This guy has a pretty good sense of humor and he's making me laugh in preparation for an uncomfortable and ineveitable jelly finger exercise. Luckily he didn't empty the whole tube of KY jelly onto his finger.) So in goes the finger. I thought he was probing my stomach checking to make sure I really didn't eat any breakfast. Finally, after what seems like a weeks worth of probing (I have "Exit only" tatooed on my back side), he takes out his finger and says, "Well, your prostate is a bit on the enlarged side, but it feels nice and smooth, which is a good thing." They screen for colon cancer (test for blood in my stool) and rectal cancer (95% of all rectal cancers can be detected by digital inspection) in addition for prostate cancer. Everything "looked" good, or should I say, felt good. One of my coworkers says that he feels like he should at least be kissed before receiving "the treatment".

The doc and I talked about prostate health and what causes prostrates to enlarge. Some men's prostrates start enlarging at 35. Others at 40. Some even start in their 50s. He said, "The more you use it, the smaller it will stay." He even offered to write a prescription that I could give to my wife that would read "Sex, twice a day, for good prostrate health." We both laughed, but I declined the offer. Seriously though, he said that frequent intercourse helps clean out the prostrate and gets all the crud out that's in there. When I told the missus, she didn't believe me. I still don't think she believes me. So maybe the next time I see this guy, I'll take him up on the prescription. If nothing else, it would make for a good laugh.

So do I really want some bread with my jelly? If its grape jelly I do. But if its KY brand jelly, I think I'll pass.

2010 Ford Mustang

Every now and again I go and drive a domestic sports car. Over the last eight years, I've rented Mustangs, or I've gone for a test drive. January 2002 I rented a Mustang and I was impressed with it. It had eight cylinders and was speedy. Later, in about 2005 or 2006 (I don't remember), I rented another Mustang. It had a V6 and I was impressed with it as well.

Then last year I tested a used V6 Mustang and a used 2007 Mustang GT. Those two models that I drove, well, they were uninspiring for me. They didn't have the punch like the earlier models had and I was severely disappointed.

A few months ago I purchased a new base model Camry. Nice car. Good mileage (30 mpg), but the car is uninspiring. How so? Its a bit on the gutless side. Don't get me wrong. Its a nice car. The ride is nice, smooth, and quiet. And for a four banger, it does pretty good. But not quite there for peppiness.

Today I took the Camry in to get serviced. The same dealer has a Ford franchise. A few weeks ago I was looking at Mustangs on the Internet. I noticed that this dealership had a V6 Mustang with a manual transmission. I've never driven one of those before and I thought it would be cool/interesting to drive a V6 with a manual. So I went in and asked if I could test drive it. I did and it was impressive. This was a much better copy than the used automatic I tried last summer. In fact, it reminded me of the V6 rental that I used several years back. It was a fairly decent car with more oomph than my pleasantly bland Camry.

I then asked for the keys for the Mustang GT. The rear-end had a 3.73 gear ratio. So it was geared low. Low gearing means this thing should accelerate like a beast. I had hoped that it would meet my expectations, because the 2007 GT that I drove last year was simply disappointing. I started it up and drove off the dealer lot. I put the gas pedal to the floor. The engine came to life and the engine roared. And it accelerated like a bat out of a very warm place. I smiled like a kid in a candy store... I took the GT on the same track that I did the smaller displacement Mustang. And I was simply impressed. This car accelerated impressively. The way a muscle car should accelerate. I drove the car my route and then went back to the dealership.

I walked into the dealership and went to the guy that let me drive the car. "I have two words for you.... HOLY CRAP!" The salesman grinned. He knew I was impressed with the car. I even told him that if I had the money, I'd be signing papers for the car right then. But I don't have the money. I have two car payments (and probably will for quite some time) and I won't be able to afford my toy car. I thanked him for letting me drive the car. We talked for a few more minutes and I left the dealership.

This little experience totally made my day. It definitely put the Mustang back on my fun car to drive list. And if I have an extra $30,000 laying around, I will go and pick up a copy for myself.

If you're interested, go drive one of those bad boys. Make sure you get a GT with a 5-speed manual with the 3.73 rear-end. The sticker should show the lower geared rear end. Give it a try and then let me know what you think....